Codependency

Codependency is essentially the loss of oneself. Codependent behavior is any behavior that someone does that they don't really want to do or would not ordinarily do as a way to gain the love of or avoid being hurt by others. Its when you say "yes" to something when you don't really want to do it because you think another person will not like/love you or will hurt you if you say "no".

Effects of Codependency

The most common motivations of codependent behavior are to feel loved and accepted by others or to feel safe. In the long run codependent behavior leaves us feeling more unloved and less safe. In short we experience just the opposite of what we believe we will get from compromising ourselves with others. In the moment we may feel as if we are being loved because we get positive responses from those that we are trying to impress but those responses are not about who we are. They are in reaction to a false self that we have portrayed to our audience. We know we are being fake and feel the only way we can be loved is to be different from who we really are. This reality makes us feel even more unlovable which often leads to us participating more in the codependent behavior. This vicious cycle leads codependent behavior to become an addiction for many people. We end up compulsively compromising ourselves for the short term fix of feeling loved or safe. We also feel less safe because we have to constantly stay on our toes trying to figure out what everyone around us wants from us. The long term effects of codependency are feeling:

Low Self-Esteem
Unlovable
Isolated/Alone
Depressed
Anxious
Like you do not know who you are
Angry - though you may rarely express anger
Fearful
Disempowered
Victimized
Disconnected from yourself and others
Chronically Unique
Unsuccessful
Shame

My Approach

I will help you find the love and safety that you have always sought by helping you learn how to step into your personal power and set healthy boundaries. I will help you learn how to break the vicious cycle of codependency by helping you improve your self-esteem and remove your sense of being broken, fake and unlovable.