Couples counseling

Couples often decide to seek couples counseling when their relationship is no longer working. Often miscommunications and pent-up tensions and upsets get in the way of the love that they used to feel and they just don't know how to come back to a place of love with each other. Other times there is an issue between them that they just cannot find a resolution for.

Goals of Couples Counseling

The overall goal of couples counseling is to find solutions that are truly a win-win and that help bring the couple back to the honeymoon stage of relationship. This often includes helping each partner learn to stand strong as an individual and still be loving and supportive of their partner. At the same time they learn how to hold each other in their relationship and still give each other the freedom to live their lives and to be themselves. In some cases what is best for the couple is to transition the relationship from one that is romantic to a friendship. In these cases the goal is to help the couple make this transition with minimal animosity.

My Approach to Couples Counseling

My approach with couples is one of no blame. Each partner is 50% responsible for the difficulties in the relationship. Once blame is removed I work on getting the couple to work together in partnership to work on their problems as a team as opposed to as opponents that are trying to prove that they are right and should thus get their way. The problem becomes a separate entity that the couple can look at together, own their contributions to it (without facing blame) and create a plan together on how to change it.

I am adept at helping people see the other's perspective. With this heightened understanding of both sides of the conflict, coming to a solution together that benefits both parties and the couple is often is greatly simplified.