Self-Esteem/Identity

Who Are You, Really?

From early childhood most of us receive messages about who we are and how we should react and behave.  We are put in boxes and told that because we belong in a certain box we are supposed to act in a certain way.  The most common of these messages are around gender, race, ethnicity, social class, and sexuality.  We receive messages such as "boys are . . .", "girls are . . .", "you should . . .".  Often the people giving us these messages do so because they want what they think is best for us.  Unfortunately, who we are as an individual is often not considered in these messages.   When we act outside our assigned boxes we are often ridiculed and pressured to comply with the rules of the box.  Due to this pressure, many of us lose touch with who we really are as an individual and assume the roles that are given to us by society.  Experiencing this disparity between who we feel we are inside and who we believe we are supposed to be, is often confusing and leads to feelings of shame and low self-esteem.

We Are All Unique!

There are over 6 billion people in the world today.  Each is unique and different from the other.  Each person has their own perspectives and beliefs.  Who is to say that one person is right and another is wrong.  Often what is right for one person is wrong for another and both can be doing what is right for them.  We all have different skills and abilities.  There are always people who can do better than we can and people who cannot.  We are all who we are and the only way we can learn to feel good about ourselves is to learn to accept who we are and to follow the path that is best for us.  Bottom line is there is no particular way you should be other than who you are.

There Has Never Been Anything Wrong With You?

When we suffer with low self-esteem and shame we feel we are broken and that if we let others see who we really are that we will be rejected and no one will like us.  We believe that if we look honestly at who we are we will suffer the great pain of having it confirmed that we are broken, worthless and/or unlovable.  This belief is false.  The truth is that when we look honestly at ourselves we find that we are magnificent and discover a greater sense of power and control in our lives.  We discover that we were never really broken.  We were only imprisioned by our shame and our negative self-talk.  There is nothing to be fixed; we only have to be freed from the bonds of our low self-esteem and oursense of powerlessness.

My Approach

I help you change how you feel about yourself and your life by helping you move away from your beliefs of being broken and wrong to focusing on your strengths and turning your challenges into assets.